tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
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I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
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I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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