I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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