my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
