TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
let's call it "werewolfing"
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye