Texts From Last Night

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  (561): View more from Florida

  I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.

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  (561): I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes. http://tfl.nu/o56m
  Replies (4) Good night (1209) Bad night (1448)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.

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  (803): worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week. http://tfl.nu/ib48
  Replies (28) Good night (709) Bad night (3149)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man

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  (518): Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man http://tfl.nu/kiog
  Replies (32) Good night (2538) Bad night (4978)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday

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  (608): margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday http://tfl.nu/m5c8
  Replies (11) Good night (3505) Bad night (559)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it

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  (205): it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it http://tfl.nu/0her
  Replies (11) Good night (5437) Bad night (672)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.

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  (919): i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me. http://tfl.nu/ilti
  Replies (42) Good night (10170) Bad night (936)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.

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  (207): Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen. http://tfl.nu/y9fq
  Replies (30) Good night (6040) Bad night (1671)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers

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  (310): I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers http://tfl.nu/hjyr
  Replies (4) Good night (2357) Bad night (912)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog

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  (907): Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog http://tfl.nu/oh2n
  Replies (16) Good night (2804) Bad night (1093)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.

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  (252): Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master. http://tfl.nu/donr
  Replies (7) Good night (1119) Bad night (1784)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love

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  (905): he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love http://tfl.nu/0ny7
  Replies (21) Good night (3644) Bad night (677)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.

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  (724): Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me. http://tfl.nu/rflf
  Replies (10) Good night (3655) Bad night (1116)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"

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  (307): It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically" http://tfl.nu/yzem
  Replies (7) Good night (612) Bad night (1267)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"

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  (631): Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet" http://tfl.nu/2suf
  Replies (12) Good night (1175) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.

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  (443): Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon. http://tfl.nu/rgbb
  Replies (0) Good night (307) Bad night (140)

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