What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
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And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
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I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut