Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!

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(708): i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES! http://tfl.nu/1ytt

Replies (4) Good night (891) Bad night (2068)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.

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(504): I think horse shit smells the best of all shits. http://tfl.nu/6fku

Replies (35) Good night (1141) Bad night (2969)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.

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(773): Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes. http://tfl.nu/41f8

Replies (48) Good night (6170) Bad night (1345)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People

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(630): I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People http://tfl.nu/8x4z

Replies (14) Good night (4642) Bad night (798)
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(253): View more from Washington

The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.

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(253): The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued. http://tfl.nu/lx8b

Replies (21) Good night (5050) Bad night (1562)
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(480): View more from Arizona

I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch

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(480): I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch http://tfl.nu/8f48

Replies (12) Good night (4468) Bad night (923)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina

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(405): just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv (1-405): we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina http://tfl.nu/dapc

Replies (24) Good night (2578) Bad night (5526)
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(620): View more from Kansas

She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever

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(620): She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever http://tfl.nu/3n5f

Replies (26) Good night (5556) Bad night (1363)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.

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(773): I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger. http://tfl.nu/s2b5

Replies (5) Good night (2841) Bad night (1136)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.

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(715): Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time. http://tfl.nu/f7ph

Replies (8) Good night (2255) Bad night (985)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.

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(603): Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom. http://tfl.nu/yblg

Replies (10) Good night (2567) Bad night (710)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.

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(847): I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus. http://tfl.nu/s4im

Replies (4) Good night (1489) Bad night (664)
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(847): View more from Illinois

All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.

(773): View more from Illinois

that bad?

(847): View more from Illinois

u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.

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(847): All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die. (773): that bad? (847): u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a. http://tfl.nu/aht0

Replies (3) Good night (2895) Bad night (749)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.

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(412): Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night. http://tfl.nu/dy0t

Replies (4) Good night (744) Bad night (479)
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(248): View more from Michigan

idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.

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(248): idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do. http://tfl.nu/l2tr

Replies (1) Good night (319) Bad night (159)

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