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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Plan B is the new Plan A

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game

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• (631): View more from New York

  our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college

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• (916): View more from California

  Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (210): View more from Texas

  Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute

  (1-210): View more from Texas

  Hello cirrhosis

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.

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