I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.