Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(719): View more from Colorado

okay pat passed out under dana's car

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(719): okay pat passed out under dana's car http://tfl.nu/6rx3

Replies (3) Good night (725) Bad night (444) Order T-Shirt
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(206): View more from Washington

Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.

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(206): Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability. http://tfl.nu/ef1b

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(813): View more from Florida

He had one of those small greek statue penises

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(813): He had one of those small greek statue penises http://tfl.nu/uvv6

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(515): View more from Iowa

sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke

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(515): sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke http://tfl.nu/6ss8

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(845): View more from New York

Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD

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(845): Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD http://tfl.nu/xg03

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(410): View more from Maryland

this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.

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(410): this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it. http://tfl.nu/bnad

Replies (25) Good night (4247) Bad night (669)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.

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(931): Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame. http://tfl.nu/0khd

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(210): View more from Texas

yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."

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(210): yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons." http://tfl.nu/jfl4

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.

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(318): Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION. http://tfl.nu/w8c8

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(406): View more from Montana

You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.

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(406): You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic. http://tfl.nu/4fes

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(518): View more from New York

I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!

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(518): I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING! http://tfl.nu/za5e

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(616): View more from Michigan

When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."

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(616): When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED." http://tfl.nu/uf90

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(904): View more from Florida

show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened

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(904): show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened http://tfl.nu/zata

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(616): View more from Michigan

my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!

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(616): my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES! http://tfl.nu/l6hp

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(775): View more from Nevada

I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.

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(775): I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me. http://tfl.nu/o8pj

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