brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF