Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.

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(757): Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed. http://tfl.nu/t0jo

Replies (13) Good night (3757) Bad night (735)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.

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(803): if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market. http://tfl.nu/j5i5

Replies (15) Good night (752) Bad night (3609)
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(614): View more from Ohio

So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night

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(614): So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night http://tfl.nu/bxgc

Replies (13) Good night (6646) Bad night (738)
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(207): View more from Maine

my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.

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(207): my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility. http://tfl.nu/43su

Replies (17) Good night (8640) Bad night (1028)
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(707): View more from California

She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.

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(707): She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed. http://tfl.nu/z812

Replies (22) Good night (1515) Bad night (4948)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order

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(443): Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order http://tfl.nu/s460

Replies (4) Good night (1263) Bad night (657)
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(002): View more from

There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink

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(002): There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink http://tfl.nu/tsjq

Replies (8) Good night (1860) Bad night (517)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison

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(864): Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison http://tfl.nu/9c49

Replies (2) Good night (1055) Bad night (666)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.

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(918): If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off. http://tfl.nu/c8gb

Replies (8) Good night (1088) Bad night (506)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Let me tell you the story of bicurious george

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(508): Let me tell you the story of bicurious george http://tfl.nu/xwje

Replies (8) Good night (1566) Bad night (652)
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(760): View more from California

If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right

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(760): If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right http://tfl.nu/o2q4

Replies (3) Good night (720) Bad night (419)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.

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(604): I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case. http://tfl.nu/8moa

Replies (2) Good night (724) Bad night (359)
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(310): View more from California

Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...

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(310): Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right... http://tfl.nu/uva3

Replies (0) Good night (668) Bad night (656)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.

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(505): I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that. http://tfl.nu/93tp

Replies (3) Good night (779) Bad night (420)
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(716): View more from New York

I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"

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(716): I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?" http://tfl.nu/zqsu

Replies (11) Good night (259) Bad night (895)

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