Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Randomize
