Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
