Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
