"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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