I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
