so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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