All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
