So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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