Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
