I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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