I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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