he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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