Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
