I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
