I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize