just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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