im about as happy as oj after his trial
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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