You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
