i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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