Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
