Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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