oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I feel like abortions should bother me more
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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