kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
