That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
