Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My bed smells like the plague
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
