We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
