all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
