There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You don't make any sense
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