I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
