Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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