You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Quick, to the slutcave!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
