He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
