a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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