doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
There's always time for handjobs
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Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
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Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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