So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome