Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?

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(631): Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach? http://tfl.nu/iba6

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(602): View more from Arizona

Goodnight sugar queer

(480): View more from Arizona

Sugar queer??

(602): View more from Arizona

Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?

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(602): Goodnight sugar queer (480): Sugar queer?? (602): Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'? http://tfl.nu/rsho

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(813): View more from Florida

I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.

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(813): I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success. http://tfl.nu/8y3e

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(415): View more from California

I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.

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(415): I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home. http://tfl.nu/qs9s

Replies (12) Good night (2832) Bad night (566) Order T-Shirt
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(250): View more from British Columbia

are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...

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(250): are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning... http://tfl.nu/a14h

Replies (22) Good night (4527) Bad night (669) Order T-Shirt
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?

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(859): Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in? http://tfl.nu/azmi

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(469): View more from Texas

Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.

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(469): Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think. http://tfl.nu/hmzv

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?

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(828): Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom? http://tfl.nu/y1hl

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(989): View more from Michigan

dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away

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(989): dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away http://tfl.nu/dlah

Replies (30) Good night (1592) Bad night (7558)
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(310): View more from California

If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is

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(310): If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is http://tfl.nu/w3co

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(870): View more from Arkansas

It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina

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(870): It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina http://tfl.nu/15cg

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...

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(780): Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it... http://tfl.nu/howp

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(567): View more from Ohio

She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs

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(567): She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs http://tfl.nu/brto

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(512): View more from Texas

I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.

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(512): I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good. http://tfl.nu/1b0u

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(601): View more from Mississippi

The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently

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(601): The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently http://tfl.nu/6pjr

Replies (1) Good night (181) Bad night (509) Order T-Shirt

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