i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
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We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"