i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
pray to the hookup gods