Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.