hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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