The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.