I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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