Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
