dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
