You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
