Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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