You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
