Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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