He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize