You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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