Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
