I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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