Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i would punch a child for taco bell
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
