His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
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