so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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