You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
