He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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