The maid of honor just puked.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
