2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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